Pessimistic Hare
by Intoxicated.Panda
Summary: I'm not your average girl


A shrill scream rings through the bathroom door and into the rest of room. It swiftly swept across the room and its occupants that were currently sitting in arm chairs that surrounded a coffee table, browsing for some chocolate and other midnight goodies that the usual occupant would indulge in.

Looks of concern were exchanged as they immediately rushed to the bathroom. Arthur got to the door first and openly brushes the others aside, grabbing the doorknob, he attempts to forcibly open the bathroom door but was met with much resistance. He briefly felt himself being pushed back and feels the doorknob twist against his hands and the door jerk.

"Yao! Are you alright?!"

"N-no! Don't come in!" Yao screamed, clutching the doorknob from the other side of the door which Arthur was trying to open – throwing body against the door and shaking furiously from head to toe, thoughts and explanation racing as the heart was thundering inside **her **chest while the shower continued to run, muffling some but not all of the hair raising sounds of trepidation.

"I-I'm perfectly fine! I just slipped on a p-puddle...? O-of water!" She shouted trying to deepen the sound of her voice and at the same time, trying to sound blatantly honest -desperately trying to convince the others into believing her rather sad attempt of an explanation.

The other Allies weren't convinced. For some reason his voice sounded different and foreign to their ears.

_Oh merciful Buddha, please! Don't let them see me like this! I'll never live this down!_ Yao prayed to the Heavens as a look of alarm and disbelief was exchanged between the American and British man. They both knew better.

"We have to open this door. He might be hurt." said Alfred looking nervously at Arthur, rubbing the back of his neck. "No you aren't Yao!" shouted the British man, "just let us in!" He'd just begun to push the door open when it was suddenly forcibly pushed back. Arthur slammed his shoulder against the door as he called, "Yao! Open up this instance!" Tears were spilling down as he-no _**she**_, trembled violently on the other side. There really was no escape without being seen.

Trying to hold herself steady, she tried to close the door again so she could lock herself in the bathroom. However, Arthur and the other allies were now overwhelming her; Arthur began to brace himself. Digging into the carpeted floor with the heels of his boots and planting his other foot at the base of the door as he leaned that leg against it, positioning and utilizing his weight against the door, he begins to push – when a toilet brush skimmed across his nose. Arthur shrieked and swore vibrantly as he screamed, "**what the bloody hell?!** Put that **down**, **that's bloody disgusting you** - **!**"

"I can't!" Yao screamed brandishing the toilet scrubber through the small space between them all the while using and trying to muster enough strength to close the door, "p-please don't!"

Her one last desperate plea had every nation outside of the bathroom door alarmed. "Open the door or I'm kicking it down." said Ivan coldly, pointedly bearing down at Arthur and Alfred who were surprisingly holding up well against his threatening disposition. "Ok stand back! The Hero's got this! Yao! I'm breaking the door down!" Alfred shouted, stepping back as he began to lower his shoulder and was just going to take a run at the door all the while ignoring Yao's pleads when Francis grabbed onto his shoulder. "You think it's appropriate to just break down the door while someone's in the bathroom?!" The thought of Alfred just tackling the door down like a football player alone was terrifying itself but Alfred shot him a look.

"When has that ever stopped **you** from barging into Arthur's 'quiet time'?!"

Ivan made a grab for the toilet brush with his gloved hand as he silently told himself to throw those leather gloves out afterwards and pulled hard. She lost her grip on her one line of defense and in that moment's hesitation she was pushed back by the combined weight of a pissed off Brit and, was narrowly missed, by a charging American. Arthur and Alfred simultaneously collided into each other and slipped crashing onto the bathroom floor. Both of them just barely noticing a long haired nation pull and yank herself into the bathtub drawing the shower curtains closed on her. Over the sound of water running from the shower head, Alfred groaned gripping onto the sink for support, accidentally knocking a cup and toothbrush to the ground. His whole body ached. Arthur swore as he jerkily pushed himself up from the tile floor, his body in a chorus of excruciating pain after slamming hard against the solid floor. His head was ringing in searing pain, his body and muscles involuntarily contracting from where Alfred had landed.

"You tosser!" He got up and stumbled over to the showers nearly tripping over his own feet. He gripped the shower curtains ripping them aside and was about to resume shouting when he suddenly froze. Every cuss word and extremely inappropriate phrase died on his tongue as he became speechless. Alfred who had his glasses hanging by a single ear blinked rapidly in confusion while Ivan openly gasped. Staring back at them was a young beauty that was silently trembling before them as tears spilled silently down her face mingling with the water from the showerhead. She was wet from the water and her white bathrobe clung lightly to her new found given curves that didn't go unnoticed.

Her porcelain like skin, tantalizingly pale and flawless, she glowed softly and brightly, albeit forlornly, as the full moon. She had long dark flattering eyelashes that rimmed fawnlike eyes, large dark and fearful. Silently they regarded the men that were openly gawping at her in fear. Her soft pink and full lips were trembling, while her slim face and soft features simply left the male nations stunned.

Her black hair was now incredibly long, trailing behind her like a curtain. Frightened, she unconsciously brushes a strand of hair from her eyes. Her large doe-eyed expression left her vulnerable. At this Francis wasted not a second. He stripped himself down, materializing rose out from midair in his right hand, and seductively begins to enter the bathtub, laughing his signature laugh perversely as he gave her a sly wink.

Yao let out a ear piercing scream that punctured all of their ear drums save for Francis' –having been familiarized with various kinds of screaming over his many years of shameless flirting and romantic espionage. He wasn't deterred in the least. "G-get **out** you Frog! And put your bloody clothes back on!" shouted Arthur as he grabbed onto Francis' arm and began grappling the naked Francis from courting the beauty that reached up for the detachable shower head and tried to beat them away.

All four of the other allies got a blast of hot water into the face from the shower head. "Chill out! We're going, we're going!" Alfred cried pulling Francis back and entirely missing how Ivan had a chokehold on the French nation who was quickly becoming purple and blue. Yao sobbed angrily watching the four of them leave closing the door behind them and leaving the silence ringing behind them. She slowly dropped the shower head and slipped down into the bath tub hugging herself in comfort.

_How could this have happened to me? _she thought miserably._ And how am I going to face them?_ She had been absolutely fine when she'd just entered the bathroom, after telling the others off for entering her room without permission. After dragging her Hello Kitty slippers and feet towards the bathroom, she usually had a towel draped over her head while she was brushing her teeth. So she hadn't noticed anything different about herself -although she couldn't shake off the strange feeling that she was feeling different. It was only when she began to take off her bathrobe did she discover something that shouldn't have been there. Make that _**two **_somethings. _Just how was anyone going to take her seriously? They never did when he was male. _Yao despondently squeezed a rubber ducky as she tried to collect herself. It was also frightening because she may have to stay like this for however long it's going to take. Her thoughts went to her family and she grew even more depressed. _How am I gonna keep this a secret from them? Both Kiku and Yong Soo are going to be at the meeting, not to mention… _Even the rubber ducky wasn't of any help. _Everyone's going to be at the meeting. _She thought running a hand nervously through her hair.

…

Outside, the others were sitting on the couches not really knowing what to do. Alfred was busying cleaning his glasses after he took off his bomber jacket. "D-do you think this has something to do with anything serious?" came the hushed question from Alfred, whose eyes were nevertheless glued to the bathroom door. Arthur ,who looking off into the horizon thoroughly dazed, immediately woke up and blinked, turning to Alfred with a little frown, "I hope not…how exactly am I going to explain this to Hong?" Water was still dripping from the Brit's blond locks. "I think we shouldn't say anything immediately to hi-**her **siblings." said Ivan who was resting in an armchair with his feet resting on a barely conscious Francis. After disposing his gloves into the wastebasket, he had taken off his coat and grudgingly his scarf. Alfred protested, "They have a right to - "

"No they don't have to know. Not right away…" said a calm voice. All of the allies looked up as Yao timidly exited the bathroom. She walked towards them as she fiddled with her sleeves, trying to muster enough strength and courage to bring herself closer to the Allies, "I feel perfectly healthy. Just…strange though…d-different. I guess I just need to adjust to this body." She managed to reach a couch to primly sit down. Heavy silence answered her. It was only then that Yao realized that she had been staring at her feet the whole time. She raised her eyes and saw all the allies looking stunned.

Silence continued till she finally reached her boiling point. "Yes. I know! I Know!" she cried. With her heart in her throat she announced, "I've got breasts! And I'm missing what all men have between their legs! Are you **happy** now?!" This body that she wasn't accustomed to was quite emotional. She felt tears of frustration prickling at the corners of her eyes. She rapidly blinked before briefly looking away, trying to look indifferent.

Arthur turned brilliantly red and immediately tried to hide it behind a single hand. While Alfred stuttered with his chin flapping. Ivan looked tenderly at her and moved his legs. Immediately the French man got up, struggling. She froze in her seat staring as Francis got up, shaking but his eyes glued on her with determination. Ivan narrowed his eyes but made no move while Arthur was too embarrassed to speak.

Slowly, with great difficulty he raised himself up. He had been forcefully shoved back into his clothes thankfully as he began staggering towards her. Yao raised her long slim legs up and hugged herself in comfort. If he tried anything, she'd take action. Make no mistake about that. Her country has various styles of martial arts and despite being female, she was really a man! She forced herself to stare straight into his blue eyes.

The French nation was now a perfect picture of health. His blond hair in perfectly loose curls, softly tousled, and his blue eyes were brilliantly sparkling. Somehow he had even recovered from the pain inflicted by Ivan with all his bruises gone and with a dashing smile that graced the French man's face. Steadily he made himself more than presentable before her. Yao kept her silence as she stared at Francis who looked tenderly at her all the while posing. _Is that really necessary?_ She thought looking disheartened.

"Mon amour. I say this out of outmost concern for your wellbeing." Francis whispered huskily, grasping her small soft hands within his, "you will seriously catch a cold if you do not wear a bra."

A scream swiftly followed after by a sob was answered when a water pipe was promptly smashed against a French man's head.

* * *

I promised myself long ago I'd do a Fem!China for myself. I like the folklore, ancient tales, beauty and history of Ancient China. If that's not good enough for you, can I just say he turns into a celestial maiden every 500 years on a full moon? Can I leave it to you guys to come up with an excuse?

I described China (the character and the nation) as one of the four beauties of China..pretty obvious which one. But for this ficcie, I for some reason sometimes saw China as Tifa Lockhart…omg, I just couldn't bring myself away from that. I swear that that's what he'd exactly look like if he were female. I love making Yao spaz and have others make fun of him. Hence the picture I used. Also I saw some Chinese cosplayers of Tifa and they were really well done...

Sorry sorry, I usually go off tangents…but yes, I really hope you guys enjoyed this. This will have Multiple pairings with China.

Please excuse the mistakes but they are my mistakes. I alone will try to fix them in the future. If I can't find or fix them, send me a nudge. But I usually want to be able to do things myself. And I apologize if this wasn't good. Do I have the right to start another fanfic? No. No I don't. But I will anyways….even though I hardly ever update..I'm serious here...

Sorry…


End file.
